Saturday Saturday.

So I'm lying on the sofa, still trying to iron out th bugs. Been pissing out of my ass since thurs morning. Still havnt recovered yet...you know that semi-conscious delirious state that one gets when one is sick and tired..? It can be pretty fun..ur mind takes u places.

Been thinking a fair bit too, so much to put down, where and why should I even try? There's no immediate solution to th conundrums and questions in my mind. Mel is never too far from my thoughts either...I just reread 'Blankets', and I it speaks to me a little more poignantly than this many years ago when I first bought it. All things end, how and when is simply another matter. Of course, every end is another beginning elsewhere. It's not easy to fully accept. I think I can understand but not accept it, that's th hard part. Letting go...

I keep hoping that things will change, that if I do my best, she will see. Optimistic foolish idiot of me right? In my heart I know...but I cant help but hope. Hope has always been my best friend and worst enemy. Things arnt...don't work that way in real life. Early bird doesn't always get the worm, happy endings arnt real, and there is no queen of England...! Yeah I'm kidding on the last bit...(Megamind movie)

I do miss Australia/Melbourne alot. The place, mostly, not a day goes by I don't reminisce about my time there. Who would have thought, that one could fall in love with a place and country? Certainly I didn't! It's beautiful countrysides, unpredictable crazy weather, diverse peoples, good, bad, ugly, plain whack jobs and well, beautiful girls too...! The quaint little cafes tucked away in some quiet alleyway, the way that the golden sunlight sifts through the leaves, creating this myriad of colors: bright green, yellow, orange and reds.




Theres so much history in the streets, old old buildings, from Victorian times. With brand new glass and concrete giants built around them sometimes, to preserve them.


A walk out into the suburbs is also a treat, just to take a leisurely stroll, and feel totally relaxed and at peace. The slow pace of life does get in the way of things sometimes, but, I can live with that!

I miss that little cafe, very much. The one called Fandango down on Errol st. The place where Joyce first introduced me to, and where I brought Mel too. It's special to me...and her too.




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