:: 110225, Friday ::

So it's th weekend, well kinda. Stayed over in th office since wed night, always feels...liberating somehow, to be away from home and back in the reigns of my own comings and goings.



Anyhow, it's Friday...was Friday. Went for km class as per usual; learnt technique for groin kicks. Like how th book described: body leans back (diagonally from striking leg) and knee goes up, and leg snaps to follow through target's groin. Foot in relaxed or tensed (ball of foot to contact) depending on range and desired strike. Points to note or reminder to self:

- situational awareness...! Be aware of subsequent threats and people.

- range and distance: determines th strike type or reaction.

Also, this is lesson 1 of th current batch of 10.

And now, about th light and sometimes pain in my life..! Seems like her arrangement for lodgings with the other two have sorta fallen through. But she's still saying with Melissa at rathdoene once they can move in. Geez, she was in such a grumpy mood, given that it is her time of the month AND th current situation. Sometimes I don't know how to react to her when she's intuit kinda mood. She doesn't reciprocate well to niceness too sometimes, and she just gets snappy. Grrr* grrr*

Can't ever stay angry at her though, its strange. And I just want her to be happy and have less worries on her mind. I'm still mildly jealous of th guy friend who's gonna head up to melb to visit her for a whole month...! Bastard. *sigh* but then, I can't jump to conclusions, and I have to learn to trust her. Not like I can do anything about it anyway...

Still, I'd like to visit her in Melbourne sometime. I miss spending the days with her in th Melbourne sun, walking down th boulevards with the lovely trees and cool weather. Such lovely days they were, and such a great place to fall in love to. I can only hope she feels the same for me one day...I just hope it's not too late when she does. :')

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Rock Band!

Rockin it out in the office...




Makes me miss th good times in Melbourne with the gang.

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Location:Tanjong Katong Rd,,Singapore

:: 110222 ::

It's a Tuesday...! Pretty uneventful sides th hard jog during lunch. Feels good to get out under th sun and perspire, push my limits when I can. Think I might go for a short jog later tonight again, but with my paintball vest weighted with water bottles...just to train...

Anyhoo, Mel and I are talking like how we were when I left Melbourne last November, cept that our roles are kinda switched. ;p I miss her very much, but I afraid of falling into th same hole that always comes up with her: given enough time, she usually loses interest or doesn't think about me anymore...

Call it prudence, call it paranoia, call it fear or worry, I just am afraid of letting her bring me up high, and letting me fall again. Granted I partly am also at fault for letting her string me along at her pace.

...one does illogical and stupid things when one is in love with someone else. I am dumb, I must admit. I should let her go and go my own way, but I don't want to leave her web she needs me...although ironically, I always needed her and wanted her more.

I miss the smell of her hair, the feel of her skin, the taste of her lips...I do miss her so much still.
Granted it's not as bad as last Sunday night, hoo, that was miserable. (:'\

Oh well...that's it for now I guess.
Out.

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Location:Mountbatten Rd,,Singapore

Leaving on a jetplane...110220

And so I'm finally back here...! It's been awhile since I blogged over anything. Good to keep a diary of events too I guess.

Biggest (and saddest) thing in my life now? Mel had gone back to Melbourne. We didn't resolve anything about our relationship(given that we rant together either) , but at least we left it on a somewhat positive note. We almost didn't!

Given how she says that I always ask questions to get the answers I want to hear, I'm afraid she is right on that point. Which just reinforces my point that she is pointedly shrewd at observing people if she chooses to reveal and speak her mind. I had to coax her to come out and speak to me, and pull her back so she wouldn't just walk away from me and leave it in that intolerable and depressing situation.

So, it was a last long warm hug, of which I was reluctant to let go of her, and a few final loving kisses...and I walked away from her, as she stood in the doorway to close th door. My last image of Mel is her blowing a kiss as I walked away...

And a few hours later, as I was on th way home from th airport seeing another friend off, I was awash with this most deep and depressing sense of sadness. I missed her terribly terribly much...despite how she treats me at times, and how volatile her attitude can be, or how spooky and fickle she is, I realize and know that I deeply and truly care for her. She says she wants us to just go with the flow, and that being th unknown for th future. There is no guarantee in life anyways, and at her age, I can understand that. Was I not so carefree about relationships just a year it two ago? Perhaps it's karma, perhaps it's that cruel irony in life...all I know is, whatever the flow I'm supposed to go with, right now, right bloody now, I miss her and want her so badly.

Mel, you've stolen part of my heart, and then some of soul too.
...and I want u to treasure them, if u would only see what you mean to me.



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Location:Singapore