Biggest (and saddest) thing in my life now? Mel had gone back to Melbourne. We didn't resolve anything about our relationship(given that we rant together either) , but at least we left it on a somewhat positive note. We almost didn't!
Given how she says that I always ask questions to get the answers I want to hear, I'm afraid she is right on that point. Which just reinforces my point that she is pointedly shrewd at observing people if she chooses to reveal and speak her mind. I had to coax her to come out and speak to me, and pull her back so she wouldn't just walk away from me and leave it in that intolerable and depressing situation.
So, it was a last long warm hug, of which I was reluctant to let go of her, and a few final loving kisses...and I walked away from her, as she stood in the doorway to close th door. My last image of Mel is her blowing a kiss as I walked away...
And a few hours later, as I was on th way home from th airport seeing another friend off, I was awash with this most deep and depressing sense of sadness. I missed her terribly terribly much...despite how she treats me at times, and how volatile her attitude can be, or how spooky and fickle she is, I realize and know that I deeply and truly care for her. She says she wants us to just go with the flow, and that being th unknown for th future. There is no guarantee in life anyways, and at her age, I can understand that. Was I not so carefree about relationships just a year it two ago? Perhaps it's karma, perhaps it's that cruel irony in life...all I know is, whatever the flow I'm supposed to go with, right now, right bloody now, I miss her and want her so badly.
Mel, you've stolen part of my heart, and then some of soul too.
...and I want u to treasure them, if u would only see what you mean to me.
-Posted using BlogPress from my IPhone
Location:Singapore
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